❤️💜💛💛💙💚Dearest Friends, Family and Allies,
I am a transgender opera singer and recent graduate from the San Francisco Conservatory of Music, with a Masters in Opera/ Voice Performance.
This summer I will be making my debut at the Walt Disney Concert Hall in downtown Los Angeles, California, alongside the Gay Men's Chorus of Los Angeles, in their "I Rise" concert. I am having a gown made by the inimitable costumer, Cassandra Carpenter (San Francisco Opera and Ballet, Bay Area Costumer's Alliance, Chanticleer, Oregon Shakespeare Festival, etc.!). I am holding a GoFund me Fundraiser to help cover the cost of the gown.
Your contributions are forever appreciated!
Donation Link: http://www.gofundme.com/a-gown-for-a-summer-concert
A Transgender Muslim Woman has been hacked to death in Russia days after marrying a man, after her father pleaded on television: ‘Bring [word redacted] here and kill [word redacted] in front of my eyes’. [deadname redacted] became Raina after sex reassignment surgery in Moscow, and was killed several days after her wedding to her husband Viktor. The killing took place after the 25-year-old’s father Alimshaikh Aliev had told a TV station: 'Let [word redacted] be killed, I don’t want to see [word redacted]. Bring [word redacted] here and kill [word redacted] in front of my eyes.’ Raina had warned police about a murder threat, according to Russian media. It was unclear where the killing took place but the victim’s body was 'cut up’ and unrecognisable to those who had known her. She was from an ethnic Chechen family living in Dagestan, a Muslim region between the Caspian Sea and Chechnya in the Russian Trans-Caucasus, it was reported. Following gender affirmation surgery in Moscow around a month ago, a wedding ceremony was held and the murder took place several days later, according to reports. The circumstances of the killing have not been disclosed. She was hated for her non-traditional sexual orientation, gender expression, and failure to comply with her hateful family values. When she realigned her gender she was damned and received threats.
Not really a FBF, but a recreation of my first pic. Tonight I had a quick chat with a woman whose daughter is in the process of coming out as transgender and it brought tears to my eyes knowing she trusted me to ask questions.
This woman has shown up for me in ways she may not even know, being a soft and gentle spirit on more than one occasion while I go through my own process, both physically and emotionally. The first time was when I was feeling 'off' from the first shot of T. I was anxious and my heart was pounding, my energy was strange and I was in a room full of people who I knew very well but I couldn't stand to be around in that moment.
Anyhow, of all of the people to help me, it was this woman. I'll admit, I judged her because she's a very feminine, classy lady and I couldn't imagine how she could understand or help me in that moment. But she did. It was the first time she shared with me that her child identified as non-binary and that brief interaction was enough for me to feel ok that night.
I'm grateful to be able to have allies in my life and that we can all show up for one another, even in the most unexpected situations.
Remembering this as I pack for the OUTshine conference in Windsor. First non-college related speaking event. I honestly never thought that anything I had to say would or could have any value and here I am, speaking up and out about the one thing I kept myself from talking about for so long... my self. And the amazing part is that it can make a difference, it is worth saying. Because if even one person hears what's between the lines of my words, it means there's one more person there who might have the courage to be themselves and support others on their way to becoming themselves as well.
It hurts to feel everything so deeply and it feels so good at the same time.Love feels amazing when it's at it's highest point but the heartbreak feels like a hot fiery poker ripping through ones' entire being.I spend endless days and nights attempting to run from the chaos in my mind and the emotions that live inside.My nightmares won't allow me to sleep for long and physical pain doesn't allow me to be active for very long.Cutting out the negative things in my life has been the best thing for me but I still find myself sometimes sinking backwards.Tonight I am heavy as I have been more times than I care to admit.I just need to get this out...I just need to feel this but I'm numb and that in itself makes me want to crawl out of my skin.Tell the people around you how much you love them...please tell them because the pain may be more than they can bear.I am sorry I've been absent for so long but I'm slipping.Please pray for me...that's all that I'm asking.
I think I've recently realized that I experienced sexual abuse. But I don't know if it really counts and I don't know if I should tell anyone because it might be stupid. But it has really been hurting me lately