A trans woman's voice can be a source of great anxiety for themselves. Having a deeper voice, I know it is for me. I hate it. I work on it constantly, trying to raise my pitch and tone, and keep it in a consistent range. As I live in an increasingly violent city, where one trans woman was recently murdered and another beaten to within an inch of her life, I try not to draw unwanted attention to myself. I fear people will hear the deep inflections when I speak, and I begin to become self-conscious, worried their attitude towards me will suddenly shift in a dangerous direction.
It seems that my constant effort is paying off though. Daily, I am told that I by complete strangers that my voice is "beautiful", "gorgeous", "sexy as hell", "sultry", among other adjectives. A few have even said it reminds them of Golden Age actresses like Lauren Becall, the 80's steamy Kathleen Turner, as well as other more modern actresses like Catherine Zeta-Jones and Leah Remini. So I've become less stressed about it lately. In fact, I can't even remember what my old voice was or how to speak with it, if that makes any sense. My voice that I've worked on so much has become automatic and completely natural now, and that self-consciousness has been replaced with self-confidence.
They say that laughter is the fireworks of the soul, which is why I laugh everyday, sometimes until my tummy hurts, but it's those days of laughter that always bring me the most joy. I cry laugh, witch cackle laugh, hyena laugh, snort laugh, you name it my nostrils and mouth can do it lmao. If you're ever having a tough day, try looking at something that makes you laugh, I promise it will turn your day around.
Have a happy Monday instafam! 📷 by @joshua_kardashian