"I was consumed by the little infinity I made for how many years, I am never good in anything but when it comes to you, I can’t even think of quitting. I don’t know how many times I told myself to stop hoping and holding on for nothing. God knows I tried. But it seems like every attempt, trying is all I could ever do.
Honestly, we never have anything to begin with, it’s just that I put so much attention on every things you did to me, I knew just now those were the things you normally do to girls around you, I just made a big deal out of those. Everything doesn’t matter when it comes to you. I’ve seen you in black and white. I’ve loved all the bad and good things about you. I kissed all the worries away for you to know that I won’t leave. Hate me for saying this again, I always picture my life living with you, you’re the person I wanted to build my future with. Silently, I’ve been wishing that one day you’ll be able to set your eyes on me, alone.
But it ended before it began. You don’t have any idea how your smile can lift me up and break me into pieces at the same time for I know, it wasn’t for me, and it will never be. I can’t have you, it is easy to say these than to just accept everything. But all I can do is to just face the fact that you can’t have forever with me, simply because I am not her.
I can’t completely say I am happy for the both of you. I feel devastated inside but I know this pain reciprocates how happy you are right now, how happy you are for finding her and holding her in your arms. Somehow, I feel relieved. You don’t have to worry, I will be able to make it one day. I’m sorry if I can’t let go of you for now, if you still own me, if I still can’t look in front because I’m still hoping for that impossible thing to happen.
Believe me, I tried. I tried to be good at anything but I guess removing you out of my system isn’t part of it."