A preachy post. Yes. But no, it's not going where you think it is going.
Do you ever feel like an outsider in your own body?
When I perform better than I expect myself to.
For some reason, I accept my failures with open arms, but the successes, are what I have trouble accepting.
If this happens to you, then stick with me, I'll tell you a little trick I've picked up. If you're the confident kind, screw the post, tell me your mantra!
So this feeling like an outsider has been happening to me a lot these days.
Mostly because I've been going through a few articles that I wrote a while ago. When i read a few of those, I had trouble believing that the words came out of my pen. It felt as if someone else must've possessed me and bled at my paper.
Now I know though, that I wrote well because I felt very strongly about what I wrote. No other reason. I became better at writing, because I let myself feel. I'm a method writer, if you may.
But that's not the only time.
I've also felt like an outsider when I gave my thesis, or an interview I had not too long ago, when I expected myself to fail miserably, because when put under a spotlight, I prove unworthy of it, always. I've dreaded becomimg a hero for only this reason, all my life. So, you can imagine the tears I fought back when they turned out to be successes.
And as silly as it may sound, and as much as it helps being prepared at your job, I succeeded only because I remembered to smile.
Sweetheart, you must always remember to smile.
Not for the humanitarian reasons, but for the selfish ones. Smile for yourself. Smile because that shit has the power to bring Positivity to you.
Smile when you're nervous, smile even when you're feeling just alright, smile especially when you don't feel like it.
It pushes all the negativity in other people's mind away. And it's always other people judging you, right?
Maybe, when you have mastered the art of faking it, like I am trying to right now, we can work together on accepting our inner elusive unicorn.
And if it ever doesn't work on someone, you tell them to come see me!