Been little over a year now that I left that hell of situation.
It was a complete wrecking ball. The whole feeling of being controlled in every little form. How does one care to place a fork so properly without it falling over. I'm not a fancy maid from the tropicals that folds towels into fancy birds. Im disgusted every day looking in the mirror. Seeing what used to be my pale skin be so colourful in one of the worse ways.
Trucking through the aisles of Walmart to begin to even feel hungry, to be told they would escape reality from you by playing videos games.
I've been ever so clean by 10 baths a day. Ever so restless when I'm laying on the bathroom floor to even breath.
How does one begin to be every little puzzle. When its never fitting. I live in a room looking outside to begin what it feels like to breath. To be laying on the hallway floor thinking and feeling you can't move your legs. What rushes next is the how do I shower , eat , go to appointments be able to look at the mountains on bench WITH NO LEGS. I'm only 21 god why. I am good enough and I can move that ball.
Now I'm almost 23 and I'm stronger then I was. Braver then who I used to be intimidated by. More colourful in everyway. And most of all finding who myself is. It's been a journey and I'm not ashamed of it anymore. People need to be way open with abusive relationships and get the fuck out. Before it's to late. Seeing and reading all the Facebook stories of girls literally bloody in the hospital I didn't think I would be one.that day I left thinking I was paraylazed is when I had enough.